7 Self Care Habits That Help You Create More Peace

Put on a song you love and notice what your shoulders do. For a lot of people, they drop an inch without being asked.

That small change has been studied more than you might expect. In 2020, researcher Martina de Witte and her colleagues published two meta-analyses in the journal Health Psychology Review. A meta-analysis combines the results of many studies, and theirs covered 104 randomized controlled trials with 9,617 participants in all. Across those trials, music interventions reduced stress in both body and mind. The effect on how stressed people felt, such as feeling restless, anxious, or nervous, was moderate. The effect on physical signs of stress was a bit smaller, and it was biggest for heart rate.

A few cautions. Many of these trials took place in medical and care settings, and the kinds of music and the lengths of the sessions varied a lot. A moderate effect is helpful, and it isn’t a cure. So I treat music as one gentle tool for peace, not a fix for serious stress.

The seven habits below use that idea. The research supports the big picture, that listening to music can lower stress. The details, like which song and when, are my own choices, and I’ll flag those as we go.

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1. Pick one song or playlist that’s only for calming down

Choose music that makes you feel settled, not pumped up. Slow, gentle, or familiar tends to work best for me, but that’s my own taste, and the research covers many kinds of music. The key is that you like it.

Early on, I tried a “relaxing” playlist someone else recommended, and it annoyed me. Once I picked my own, it started to work. Save your calm music in one place so you can find it fast when you need it.

Try this: Make a short playlist of three to five songs that calm you, and name it something like “Breathe.”

2. Listen on purpose, with nothing else going on

Music in the background helps a little. Music you actually listen to is different. Sit or lie down, put the phone away, and give the song your full attention for ten minutes.

Notice the parts you like, like the rhythm, a voice, or an instrument. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the sound. Ten quiet minutes can be enough to feel the difference. The ten-minute length is my own suggestion.

Try this: Tonight, set a ten-minute timer and listen to one calming song with nothing else in your hands.

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3. Use it at the moment stress starts to build

Don’t wait until you’re wound up. When you feel the first tightening in your chest or your jaw, put on your calm music. Early use tends to be easier than trying to settle a big wave of stress.

Last winter, I started playing one calm song on my drive home after a hard day, and I noticed I walked in the door in a better mood. That’s my experience, not a study result.

Try this: Choose one stressful time in your day, like the drive home, and plan your calm song for it.

Calm is easier to find when you give it a soundtrack.

4. Make it a daily ritual, at the same time each day

A habit you do at the same time is easier to keep. Choose a spot in your day, like after dinner or before bed, and make your music time a regular appointment.

I do mine while I’m making tea in the evening. The routine itself starts to feel calming before the first note plays. That’s my own observation.

Try this: Pick a time for daily calm music, and set a reminder on your phone.

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5. Pair the music with slow breathing or gentle stretching

Music can be even better with something for your body to do. Breathe slowly in time with the music, or stretch your neck and shoulders while you listen.

Keep it easy, with no pressure to do it right. If you have an injury or a health condition, check with your doctor about what’s safe. This pairing is my own idea and isn’t from the studies.

Try this: Next time you listen, take five slow breaths and let your shoulders drop on each one.

6. Keep your listening setup ready

If your headphones are tangled or your speaker is in another room, you’ll skip it. Keep them where you can reach them quickly. A small basket by your chair works well.

Make sure your playlist works without the internet if you can. When stress hits, you don’t want to fight with an app. That’s my practical tip.

Try this: Put your headphones and a charged phone or speaker in one spot today.

7. Know when music isn’t enough

Music can lower stress, and some stress needs more than a song. If you feel overwhelmed most days, or your worry or low mood is hard to shake, please talk with a doctor or a licensed mental health professional.

Many of the trials in the research used music alongside other care, not as a replacement for it. Music is a support, and getting help is a strength.

Try this: If stress has been heavy for weeks, write down one person you could talk to and reach out to them this week.

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