9 Frugal Living Tips That Help You Save Without Feeling Cheap

When you skip a purchase, there’s often a small voice that asks, “Am I being cheap?” It can make saving money feel like a flaw in your character, even when you’re doing exactly what your budget needs.

Researchers Scott Rick, Cynthia Cryder, and George Loewenstein studied how people feel when they spend. In a 2008 paper in the Journal of Consumer Research, they proposed that some people, whom they call tightwads, feel an anticipatory “pain of paying” that leads them to spend less than they would ideally like. Others, whom they call spendthrifts, feel too little of that pain and spend more than they would ideally like. They built a short scale to measure these differences. The gap between the two groups was biggest in situations that increase the pain of paying and smallest in situations that reduce it. Income differences between the two groups were small.

I find that helpful, because it moves the question. The goal isn’t to spend the least. It’s to spend the way you’d choose on a calm day, when you weren’t reacting to a feeling. Both styles can miss that mark.

Some cautions. This is a measure of how people report their feelings, and I’m not diagnosing anyone. The nine tips below are my own, built on that idea. I’ll mark the two that come from researchers’ suggestions.

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1. Decide what you’d spend on if money felt easy

Start by writing a short list of things you’d gladly pay for. A good meal with friends, a quality pair of shoes, a class you’ve wanted to take. This is your “worth it” list.

When I first made one, I realized I’d been cutting things I liked while keeping things I didn’t care about. The list gave my frugality a direction. That’s my own exercise.

Try this: Write five things you’d happily spend money on, and keep the list somewhere you’ll see it.

2. Notice when spending hurts, and ask what the hurt is about

A pang when you pay isn’t always a good guide. Sometimes it means the price is too high. Sometimes it’s just the feeling of parting with money, even for something you value.

The research describes that feeling as a kind of pain of paying. When you notice it, pause and ask, “Is this a bad deal, or does this just feel bad?” The question is mine, and it’s a useful one.

Try this: The next time a purchase makes you wince, write down whether it was the price or the feeling.

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3. Give your “worth it” list a budget

A list without money behind it tends to lose to whatever’s urgent. Set aside an amount each month for the things you chose. Treat it like a bill you owe yourself.

Once it’s in the plan, spending it isn’t a failure. It’s following the plan. That approach is mine.

Try this: Set a monthly amount for your “worth it” list, and put it in your budget like any other line.

The goal isn’t to spend the least. It’s to spend the way you’d choose on a calm day.

4. Set a guilt-free amount for small treats

Small pleasures are easy to feel guilty about. A fixed amount each week takes the guesswork out. When it’s gone, it’s gone, and until then you can enjoy it.

Early on, I tried to cut treats to zero, and it backfired within a month. A small fixed amount worked far better. That’s my experience.

Try this: Pick a weekly treat amount that won’t strain your budget, and spend it without apology.

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5. Think of some big outlays as investments in your life

This one comes from a suggestion by researcher Scott Rick, as quoted in Kiplinger. He said tightwads can frame some outlays as investments, such as seeing a vacation as an investment in productivity. The idea is to see worthwhile spending for what it gives you.

It only works if the spending really does serve something you value. I’d add that it should still fit your budget. That caution is mine.

Try this: Think of one planned purchase, and write down what it will give you in a month and a year.

6. If you tend to overspend, make the trade-off visible

The other side matters too. According to a summary of related research, highlighting the opportunity costs of spending tends to reduce spending by people who feel too little pain of paying. In plain words, remind yourself what the money could do instead.

Try saying, “If I spend this, I can’t spend that.” It helps me when I’m tempted. The exact phrasing is my own.

Try this: Before a non-essential purchase, name one thing the same money could do instead.

7. Cut the things you don’t notice, not the things you love

The easiest savings are the ones you’ll never miss. Look at subscriptions, bills, and services you don’t use. Cutting those protects your joy.

A few years ago, I found three subscriptions I’d forgotten I had. Canceling them saved money with no sacrifice at all. That’s my own experience.

Try this: List every subscription and cancel one you haven’t used in the past month.

8. Wait a day on wants, and buy on day two if you still want it

A short pause separates a passing urge from a real want. If you still want the item the next day, and it fits your budget, buy it without guilt. If you’ve forgotten it, you’ve saved money.

The pause works in both directions. It protects you from impulse buys and from refusing things you truly value out of habit. That’s my suggestion.

Try this: Put the next non-essential purchase on hold for 24 hours and decide then.

9. Check in monthly on how your frugality feels

Once a month, ask yourself whether you’re saving for something or away from something. “For” feels purposeful. “Away from” can feel like fear.

If money worry is constant, or saving feels like punishment, it may help to talk with a nonprofit credit counselor or a licensed mental health professional. That’s my caution, and it isn’t from the study.

Try this: On the first of each month, write one sentence about what you’re saving for.

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