15 Self Care Ideas for People Who Are Mentally Tired
Being mentally tired is different from being sleepy. You can sleep eight hours and still feel like your brain is running on fumes. For a long time I figured the fix was to do nothing for a while. Then I read some research that changed how I think about rest.
In 2007, psychologists Sabine Sonnentag and Charlotte Fritz studied how working adults spend their free time. Their work, which included a group of 930 people, showed that four different kinds of experiences help people recover from stress: mentally detaching from work, relaxing, mastering something new, and feeling in control of your own time. One point stood out to me. What restores you is less about the activity itself and more about how it feels to you. These studies rely mostly on what people report about themselves, and they focused on workers, so they can’t promise that any one idea will work for everyone. Still, they give us a useful map.
The 15 ideas below are grouped by those four kinds of rest. Try one from each group, and pay attention to which one leaves you feeling most like yourself again.
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Get the Free Kit1. Detach: end your workday with a clear shutdown moment
Your mind won’t let go of work just because you closed the laptop. It helps to give it a signal that says “we’re done.” A short routine works well. Write down your top three tasks for tomorrow, close your tabs, and say a closing line out loud, like “That’s it for today.”
Writing tomorrow’s tasks down gets them out of your head and onto paper, so you don’t have to keep holding them. Tonight, try a two-minute shutdown and notice whether your evening feels different.
2. Detach: move work apps out of easy reach after hours
Psychological detachment means not thinking about or doing work during your time off. That’s hard when your work email lives on the same phone as your music. Even a quick peek can pull your mind back in for the next hour.
Log out of work apps on your phone, or tuck them into a folder on the last screen. If you can’t turn them off completely, pick a time after which you won’t check. Start with one evening this week.
3. Detach: create a small “commute” between work mode and home mode
People who work from home often lose the natural break a commute used to give them. Without it, the day just blurs together. A ten-minute walk around the block, a change of clothes, or a cup of tea on the porch can mark the switch.
Choose one small ritual and do it at the same time each day. Your brain learns to read it as the line between “on” and “off.”
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Visit Premier Print Works4. Detach: set one no-work-talk window with the people you live with
Work can follow you home through conversation, even when your phone is put away. If dinner turns into a replay of your day, your mind never gets to leave. Agree with your partner, roommate, or kids that for one meal, work talk is off the table.
If venting helps you, save it for a short, set time and then move on. The goal isn’t to hide your stress. It’s to give your mind a break from circling it.
What restores you is less about the activity and more about how it feels.
5. Relax: give yourself ten quiet minutes with nothing to accomplish
In this research, relaxation means a low-energy state with pleasant feelings. Think easy, slow, and nothing to prove. Sitting with a cup of tea, gentle stretching, or lying down with your eyes closed all count.
Set a timer for ten minutes and put your phone in another room. If your mind drifts to your to-do list, that’s normal. Just bring it back to the tea, the stretch, or your breathing.
6. Relax: listen to music you love without doing anything else
Most of us play music in the background while we do chores or scroll. Try giving it your full attention instead. Pick an album or playlist that makes you feel calm or happy, then sit or lie down and just listen.
You don’t need a special playlist. Choose what lifts your mood, not what you think you should like. Ten to twenty minutes is plenty.
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Get the Free Guide7. Relax: spend time outside without your phone
A quiet spot outdoors, such as a park bench, your back step, or a slow walk, gives your eyes and mind a rest from screens. You don’t have to hike anywhere or count steps. The point is to slow down and look around.
Leave your phone in your pocket, or at home. Notice three things you can see, hear, or smell. It’s a small exercise that gently pulls you out of your head.
8. Relax: make one evening a week slower on purpose
When you’re mentally tired, a packed evening of errands and chores can drain the little energy you have left. Pick one night to keep simple. An easy dinner, a warm shower, and an earlier bedtime are enough.
Sleep is a big part of recovery, so an early night is one of the kindest things you can do for a tired mind. Put it on your calendar so it doesn’t get squeezed out.
9. Master: learn one small new skill that has nothing to do with work
Mastery may be the most surprising of the four. It isn’t rest in the usual sense. It means taking on a mild challenge that builds your sense of competence, and doing it outside your job. It can restore you precisely because it uses a different part of your life.
Pick something small, like three chords on a guitar, a new knitting stitch, or ten minutes of a language app. Aim for “a little bit hard,” not “impossible.” Stop while you’re still curious.
10. Master: cook one recipe that stretches you slightly
Cooking is a low-pressure way to practice getting better at something. Choose a recipe one step above what you usually make, like fresh pasta or a new spice blend. You get a clear result and a meal at the end.
Read the recipe the day before so you aren’t rushing. If it doesn’t turn out perfectly, you’ve still learned something.
11. Master: try a gentle physical challenge
Physical goals can build mastery too. Walk a slightly longer route, try a new yoga pose, or ride a hill you usually avoid. What matters is the feeling of “I did that a little better than last time.”
Keep it kind to your body. When you’re mentally drained, a small step forward counts. If you have health concerns, check with your doctor first.
12. Master: make or fix something with your hands
Repairing a chair, planting a small herb pot, or finishing a simple craft gives you something you can see and touch. Work on a screen can leave you with little proof of progress. A hands-on project gives that proof back.
Pick something that takes an hour or less so you can finish it. A small project you complete feels better than a big one you never start.
13. Control: protect one hour that is yours to spend however you choose
In this research, control means having a say in how you use your free time. Many tired people have hours off but feel like every one is spoken for by chores, kids, or other people’s plans. That takes away much of the restoring effect.
Block one hour this week on your calendar, label it “mine,” and decide ahead of time that no one else gets to fill it. Then use it for whatever sounds good in the moment.
14. Control: say no to one optional thing this week
You can’t have control over your time if you say yes to everything. Look at your week and find one optional commitment that would only add strain, like an event, a favor, or a meeting that could be an email.
You can decline kindly: “I can’t make it this time, but thank you for asking.” A short, friendly no is enough. You don’t owe a long explanation.
15. Control: keep a short “what restores me” list and use it
When you’re tired, it’s hard to think of what would help. So make the list ahead of time. Write down five things from this article that left you feeling better afterward, one from each of the four groups if you can. Keep the list on your phone or your fridge.
The next time your brain feels fried, choose from the list instead of scrolling. And if the tiredness doesn’t lift with rest, or it comes with low mood or hopelessness, please talk with a doctor or mental health professional. Exhaustion can have causes that rest alone won’t fix.
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See Our Top PicksTwo Ways Tired Minds Found Rest
I know a woman named Amara who worked late most nights and felt drained even on weekends. She realized she never really stopped thinking about work. So she started closing her laptop with a two-minute shutdown and taking a short walk before dinner. She told me the evening felt like her own for the first time in months.
I also think about a guy named Joel who assumed rest meant doing nothing. After a long stretch of feeling flat on the couch, he took up a small woodworking project. He said learning something new gave him more energy than another night of TV ever did.
Picture Ending a Hard Day Differently
Imagine the workday ends and you have a small routine that tells your mind it’s over. You take ten quiet minutes, then spend an hour on something that’s entirely yours. By bedtime your head feels lighter, not perfect, but lighter.
You don’t need to do all 15 ideas. Pick one from each group this week and see what changes. Get the free Self-Care Starter Kit if you’d like a simple plan to follow.
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A Gentle Reminder to Rest
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This page is for informational and inspirational purposes only. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and it is not professional therapy or mental health care. The research referenced here comes from the published work of Sabine Sonnentag and Charlotte Fritz, “The Recovery Experience Questionnaire: Development and Validation of a Measure for Assessing Recuperation and Unwinding From Work” (Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 2007), summarized here in plain language. It relied mainly on self-reported surveys of working adults, so it shows patterns, not guarantees. If you feel constantly exhausted, or your tiredness comes with low mood, hopelessness, or trouble functioning, please speak with a doctor or licensed mental health professional. Results and experiences vary from person to person.
Amara and Joel are made-up characters used to bring this content to life. They are not real people.
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